You may have heard this being told to you by a friend, a spouse, or a colleague. “I did nothing.” “Who said I did it?”. Have you ever had to questioned your sanity before? Because someone told you that what you remember did not happen. Say whether in a relationship with your partner or with your colleagues at work, where they tell you that what you say never happened, and you keep asking yourself if it ever did? If you have, you are not alone, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. You are not at fault, and how you feel is valid. There is a term for this in psychology, that they coin as gaslighting. You may have heard of this term in psychology or even in literary books or stories. But have you ever wondered what gaslighting may be? For more ideas, examples and the definition of what gaslighting is, simply scroll below while looking at the 100+ examples of gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a term coined in psychology that states it is a form of abuse. A form of emotional abuse that is most commonly connected to narcissism. Gaslighting makes you question your reality, your memories, your sanity and even yourself. In addition to that, it is also a form of manipulation that destroys who you are as a person. Your mental health, your confidence and even your perception of who is right and who is wrong. People who have gone through too much gaslighting from people can leave them questioning reality and dependent on the person who gaslighted them.
Do you or anyone you know have been gaslighted? As we know that gaslighting is a manipulative tactic often used by people against others without consent. It is a form of emotional abuse and is sometimes too difficult to pinpoint it happening. However, there are some sure signs to detect that you or someone you may know have been gaslighted. Here are just some of the signs to look out for if you think or you may think someone else is being gaslighted.
The first thing that you would often see when a person is being gaslighted is if they start to ask you or someone they may be close with if the event that they wonder ever existed. Watch out for this sign, especially if the person you know is not capable of forgetting important details or even the smallest details. This can be a sure sign of someone being gaslighted.
Another sign you have to watch out for is the person telling you that you suffer from amnesia. People who have amnesia suffer from a lot of memory loss, but for a person to tell you that you may have amnesia when you believe what you saw and experience is true, are two different things. If someone is telling you that you may have amnesia or you have hit yourself in the head to cause some memory loss, be careful. There are some other ways for people who gaslight to literally destroy your memories and can cause in permanent damage.
What does it mean when it is insensitive to your needs? When a person gaslights you or another person, they do not think or care about how much it would hurt you in the end. What they do care about is their own deeds, their own happiness and their own lives. When you voice out your needs, check at how they may interact with it. In a way, if the person who gaslights you says that you are so sensitive, you are a cry baby, stop the drama, you’re faking it etc. Chances are they are gaslighting you. Especially if you know the person and you do not think they are capable of doing such harsh acts towards you or another person. They are insensitive of your needs, because it is easier for them to show you that they care and in the long run ends up hurting you instead.
Another sign that you may have been gaslighted is you apologize for things that do not need any apology. What this means is, any single small detail that you may have missed, you immediately apologize to the person beside you. Even if they insist it was simply nothing or you have nothing to worry about. Apologizing for something that you did wrong is fine, but not to the point of any tiny detail. People who have been gaslighted, mostly apologize for the things they have done or have not done wrong. This is because they believe that if they say they are sorry, the person who manipulated them would love or forgive them. Which is sad to say, wrong on all levels.
Another thing to consider to notice if you are being gaslighted is you have less or no self-confidence. This is normal to find in a person being gaslighted. As the manipulator let’s you see something wrong about you. Which lessens your confidence, that you find yourself believing in what they say about you. The lack of self-confidence can be an indication that a person is being gaslighted. As this can also be in the form of verbal abuse by saying something rude or undermining a person’s self-esteem. Remember, they care about themselves and not you. The more their victims believe they are not worth it, the more these manipulators think they can win.
Now that we know what gaslighting is and the signs of being gaslighted, the next thing we need to know is how to avoid it. If you believe there is no way to avoid this, there are actually ways. In addition to that, this is only when you are familiar with what is going on. If you believe that you have more than just the issue of being gaslighted, you should seek medical help for that.
Remember this, when you are gaslighted, the manipulator wants you to believe that your side of the story does not exist. Make narrative notes about your day, write out every single detail and the words or the conversation you may have. In addition to that, add the people who you may have encountered during that day and list them down. That way, the next time you feel like you are being gaslighted, you have the notes to prove that you are not losing yourself.
One thing that manipulators especially narcissists would love to get you to is arguing. They love to argue and for some reasons, often find a loop hole that they believe would make them win. The best thing to do before you get pulled in, is to avoid arguing with the person at all costs. Not only will you not be able to win the argument, you would be seen as the reason or the person who started the argument. To avoid this completely, ignore them if they ever want to start an argument with you. It is not worth your dignity nor your mental health.
Do research on the tell tale signs of gaslighting. Not only will this help you, it will also help others around you. If you are not as completely sure if you are a victim of gaslighting, you may take an assessment. But always keep your options open, do research, understand the reason why they gaslight you and how to be able to avoid it completely. How to cut toxic people regardless of who they are out of your life.
One thing to learn how to avoid getting gaslighted is to know your boundaries. Let everyone know that this or these are your boundaries and if they do not respect you for it, cut them off. It is always best to have people who understand and respect you and your personal space than to let others walk over you disrespecting everything about you.
As easy as it is to say than to get done, never be afraid to ask for help from someone. May it be from a family member that you trust, a friend or a doctor. Seeking help from people does not make you feel less of a person, nor does it make you weak. Rather, it makes you strong and you are really putting yourself first and your mental and emotional health.
Gaslighting is a term coined in psychology that means a kind or a form of emotional and mental manipulation, that usually happens in both personal and professional relationships. This type of abuse can easily be hidden especially if the person watching does not know about this type of manipulation.
Gaslighting as we know is a form of mental and emotional abuse. The reason why some people do it is, they enjoy hurting others. They enjoy letting others know that they are the boss. It is however really difficult to see the real reason why other people gaslight, or why do they need to gaslight to get their way.
The common signs of a person being gaslighted are: they ask for forgiveness even for the smallest things, they have no self-confidence or very little to no self-confidence. They are also paranoid of some people. These are just some of the signs of someone being gaslighted, as well as having to ask if something really happened. As those who suffer from this are often told their version of reality does not exist.
It goes without saying, being emotionally and mentally bullied or abuse is not a funny business whatsoever. It is not something that people can just shrug off as if it were nothing. It is not something that people can choose to ignore and go on with their lives. Gaslighting is real and there are a lot of people who are suffering from it but have no idea what it is about or what should they do about it. The more people who know and are able to educate about gaslighting, the better chances for those to escape. Every person’s feelings are valid.