A Modest Proposal
By Jonathan Swift
Transcription, correction, editorial commentary, and markup
by Staff and Research Assistants at The University of Virginia
A MODEST
PROPOSAL
For preventing the
CHILDREN
OF
POOR PEOPLE
From being a
Burthen to their parents,
OR THE
COUNTRY,
AND
For making them Beneficial to the
PUBLICK.
by Dr. SWIFT
Dublin
, printed by
S. Harding:
London
, Re-printed; and sold by
J. Roberts
in
Warwick-lane
, and the Pamphlet-Shops
M.DCC.XXIX
Page 2
- 1 -
It is a melancholly Object to those, who walk through this great Town, or travel in the Country, when they
see the streets, the roads, and the cabbin-doors crowded with beggars of the female sex, followed by three,
four, or six children, all in rags, and importuning every passenger for an Alms. These
Mothers
instead
of being able to work for their honest lively-hood, are forced to employ all their time in Stroling to beg
Sustenance for their helpless infants who, as they grow up, either turn
Thieves
for want of work, or leave
their
dear native Country, to fight for the Pretender in Spain
, or sell themselves to the
Barbadoes
.
I think it is agreed by all Parties, that this prodigious number of Children in the Arms, or on the Backs,
or at the
heels of their Mothers
, and frequently of their Fathers, is
in the present deplorable state of the
Kingdom
, a very great additional grievance; and therefore whoever could find out a fair, cheap and easy
method of making these Children sound and useful Members of the common-wealth, would deserve so well
of the publick, as to have his Statue set up for a preserver of the Nation.
But my Intention is very far from being confined to provide only for the Children of
professed Beggars
: it
is of a much greater extent, and shall take in the whole number of infants at a certain Age, who are born of
Parents in effect as little able to support them, as those who demand our Charity in the Streets.
As to my own part, having turned my thoughts for many Years, upon this important Subject, and maturely
weighed the several
Schemes of our Projectors
, I have always found them grossly mistaken in their
computation. It is true, a Child
just dropt from its Dam
may be supported by her Milk, for a Solar year,
with little other Nourishment: at most not above the Value of two Shillings, which the Mother may certainly
get, or the Value in
Scraps
, by her lawful Occupation of begging; and it is exactly at one year Old that
I propose to provide for them in such a manner, as, instead of being a Charge upon their
Parents
, or the
Parish
, or
wanting Food and Raiment
for the rest of their Lives, they shall, on the Contrary, contribute to
the Feeding, and partly to the Cloathing of many Thousands.
There is likewise another great Advantage in my Scheme, that it will prevent those
voluntary Abortions
,
and that horrid practice of
Women murdering their Bastard Children
, alas! too frequent among us,
Sacrificing the
poor innocent Babes
, I doubt, more to avoid the Expence than the Shame, which would
move Tears and Pity in the most Savage and inhuman breast.
The number of Souls in this Kingdom being usually reckoned one Million and a half, of these I calculate
there may be about two hundred thousand Couple whose Wives are Breeders; from which number I
Substract thirty Thousand Couples, who are able to maintain their own Children, although I apprehend
there cannot be so many, under
the present distresses of the Kingdom
but this being granted, there will
remain an hundred and seventy thousand Breeders. I again Substract fifty Thousand, for those Women who
miscarry, or whose Children dye by accident or disease within the Year. There only remain an hundred
and twenty thousand Children of poor Parents annually born. The question therefore is, How this number
shall be reared, and provided for? which, as I have already said, under the present Situation of Affairs, is
utterly impossible by all the methods hitherto proposed. For we can
neither employ them in Handicraft
or
Agriculture
; they neither build Houses, (I mean in the Country) nor cultivate Land: they can very seldom
pick up a Lively-hood
by Stealing
till they arrive at six years Old; except where they are of towardly parts,
although I confess they learn the Rudiments much earlier; during which time they can however be properly
looked upon only as
Probationers
: As I have been informed by a principal Gentleman in the County of
Cavan
, who protested to me, that he never knew above one or two Instances under the Age of six, even in
a part of the Kingdom
so renowned for the quickest proficiency in that Art
.
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I am assured by our Merchants, that a Boy or a Girl before twelve years Old, is no saleable Commodity, and
even when they come to this Age, they will not yield above three Pounds, or three Pounds and half a Crown
at most, on the Exchange; which cannot turn to Account either to the Parents or Kingdom, the Charge of
Nutriments and Rags having been at least four times that Value.
I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be lyable to the least
Objection.
I have been assured by a very knowing
American
of my acquaintance in
London
, that a young healthy
Child well Nursed, is, at a year Old, a most delicious nourishing and wholesome Food, whether
Stewed,
Roasted, Baked
, or
Boyled
; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a
Fricasie
, or a
Ragoust
.
I do therefore humbly offer it to
publick consideration
, that of the hundred and twenty thousand Children,
already computed, twenty thousand may be reserved for Breed, whereof only one fourth part to be Males;
which is more than we allow to
Sheep, black Cattle
, or
Swine
, and my reason is, that these Children are
seldom the Fruits of Mrriage,
a Circumstance not much regarded by our Savages
, therefore,
one Male
will be sufficient to serve
four Females
. That the remaining hundred thousand may, at a year Old, be
offered in Sale to the
persons of Quality
and
Fortune
, through the Kingdom, always advising the Mother
to let them Suck plentifully in the last Month, so as to render them Plump, and Fat for a good Table. A Child
will make two Dishes at an Entertainment for Friends, and when the Family dines alone, the fore or hind
Quarter will make a reasonable Dish, and seasoned with a little Pepper or Salt, will be very good Boiled on
the fourth Day, especially in
Winter
.
I have reckoned upon a Medium, that a Child just born will weigh 12 pounds, and in a solar Year, if
tollerably nursed, encreaseth to 28 Pound.
I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefore very
proper for Landlords
, who, as they have
already devoured most of the Parents, seem to have the best Title to the Children.
Infant's flesh will be in Season throughout the Year, but more plentiful in
March
, and a little before and
after; for we are told by a grave Author, an eminent French Physician, that
Fish being a prolifick Dyet
,
there are more Children born in
Roman Catholick Countries
about nine Months after
Lent
, than at any
other Season, therefore reckoning a Year after
Lent
, the Markets will be more glutted than usual, because
the Number of
Popish Infants
, is at least three to one in this Kingdom, and therefore it will have one other
Collateral advantage, by lessening the Number of Papists among us.
I have already computed the Charge of nursing a Beggars Child (in which list I reckon all
Cottagers,
Labourers
, and four fifths of the
Farmers
) to be about two Shillings
per Annum
, Rags Included; and
I believe no Gentleman would repine to give Ten Shillings for the
Carcass of a good fat Child
, which, as
I have said, will make four Dishes of excellent Nutritive Meat, when he hath only some particular friend,
or his own Family to Dine with him. Thus the Squire will learn to be a good Landlord, and grow popular
among his Tenants, the Mother will have Eight Shillings neat profit, and be fit for Work till she produces
another Child.
Those who are more thrifty (
as I must confess the Times require
) may stay the Carcass; the Skin of which,
Artificially dressed, will make admirable
Gloves for Ladies
, and
Summer Boots for fine Gentlemen
.
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As to our City of
Dublin
, Shambles may be appointed for this purpose, in the most convenient parts of
it, and Butchers we may be assured will not be wanting; although I rather recommend buying the Children
alive, and dressing them hot from the Knife, as we do
roasting Pigs
.
A very worthy Person,
a true Lover of his Country
, and whose Virtues I highly esteem, was lately pleased,
in discoursing on this matter, to offer a refinement upon my Scheme. He said, that many Gentlemen of
this Kingdom, having of late destroyed their Deer, he conceived that the want of Venison might be well
supplyed by the Bodies of young Lads and Maidens, not exceeding fourteen Years of Age, nor under
twelve; so great a Number of both Sexes in every Country being now ready to Starve for want of Work
and Service: And these to be disposed of by their Parents if alive, or otherwise by their nearest Relations.
But with due deference to so excellent a friend, and so deserving a Patriot, I cannot be altogether in his
Sentiments; for as to the Males, my
American
acquaintance assured me from frequent Experience, that
their flesh was generally Tough and Lean, like that of our School-boys, by continual exercise, and their
Taste disagreeable, and to Fatten them would not answer the Charge. Then as to the Females, it would,
I think, with humble Submission,
be a loss to the Publick
, because they soon would become Breeders
themselves: And besides, it is not improbable that some scrupulous People might be apt to Censure such a
Practice, (although indeed very unjustly) as a little bordering upon Cruelty, which, I confess, hath always
been with me the strongest objection against any Project, however so well intended.
But in order to justify my friend, he confessed, that this expedient was put into his head by the famous
Sallmanaazor
, a Native of the Island
Formosa
, who came from thence to
London
, above twenty Years
ago, and in Conversation told my friend, that in his Country, when any young Person happened to be put to
Death, the Executioner sold the Carcass to
Persons of Quality
, as a prime Dainty; and that, in his Time,
the Body of a plump Girl of fifteen, who was crucified for an attempt to Poison the Emperor, was sold to
his Imperial
Majesty's prime Minister of State
, and other great
Mandarins
of the Court
in Joints from
the Gibbet
, at four hundred Crowns. Neither indeed can I deny, that if the same use were made of several
plump young Girls in this Town, who, without one single Groat to their Fortunes, cannot stir abroad without
a Chair, and appear at a
Play-House
and
Assemblies
in Foreign fineries which they never will Pay for;
the Kingdom would not be the worse.
Some Persons of a desponding Spirit are in great concern about that vast Number of poor People, who are
aged, diseased, or maimed; and I have been desired to imploy my thoughts what Course may be taken, to
ease the Nation of so grievous an Incumbrance. But I am not in the least pain upon that matter, because it
is very well known, that they are every Day
dying
, and
rotting
, by
cold
and
famine
, and
filth
, and
vermin
, as fast as can be reasonably expected. And as to the young Labourers, they are now in almost as
hopeful a Condition. They cannot get Work, and consequently pine away from want of Nourishment, to a
degree, that if at any time they are accidentally hired to common Labour, they have not strength to perform
it, and thus the Country and themselves are happily delivered from the Evils to come.
I have too long degressed, and therefore shall return to my subject. I think the advantages by the Proposal
which I have made are obvious and many, as well as of the highest importance.
For first, as I have already observed, it would greatly lessen
the Number of Papists
, with whom we are
Yearly over-run, being the principal Breeders of the nation, as well as our most dangerous Enemies, and
who stay at home on purpose with a design
to deliver the Kingdom to the Pretender
, hoping to take their
Advantage by the absence
of so many good Protestants
, who have chosen rather to leave their Country,
than stay at home, and pay Tythes against their Conscience to an
Episcopal Curate
.
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Secondly
, the poorer Tenants will have something valuable of their own, which by Law may be made
lyable to a Distress, and help to pay their Landlord's Rent, their Corn and Cattle being already seazed, and
Money a thing unknown
.
Thirdly
, Whereas the Maintainance of an hundred thousand Children, from two Years old, and upwards,
cannot be computed at less than Ten Shillings a piece
per Annum
, the Nation's Stock will be thereby
encreased fifty thousand pounds
per Annum
, besides the profit of a new Dish, introduced to the Tables of
all
Gentlemen of Fortune
in the Kingdom, who have any refinement in Taste, and the Money will circulate
among our selves, the Goods being entirely of our own Growth and Manufacture.
Fourthly
, The constant Breeders, besides the gain of Eight Shillings ster.
per Annum
, by the Sale of their
Children, will be rid of the Charge of maintaining them after the first Year.
Fifthly
, This food would likewise bring great
Custom to Taverns
, where the Vintners will certainly be
so prudent as to procure the best receipts for dressing it to perfection; and consequently have their Houses
frequented by all the
fine Gentlemen
, who justly value themselves upon their knowledge in good Eating;
and a skilful Cook, who understands how to oblige his Guests, will contrive to make it as expensive as they
please.
Sixthly
, This would be a great Inducement to Marriage, which all wise Nations have either encouraged by
Rewards, or enforced by Laws and Penalties. It would encrease the care and tenderness of Mothers towards
their Children, when they were sure of a Settlement for Life to the poor Babes, provided in some sort by
the Publick, to their Annual profit instead of Expence, we should soon see an honest Emulation among the
married Women,
which of them could bring the fattest Child to the Market
. Men would become as fond of
their
Wives
, during the Time of their Pregnancy, as they are now of their
Mares
in Foal, their
Cows
in
Calf, or
Sows
when they are ready to Farrow, nor offer to Beat or Kick them (as is too frequent a practice)
for fear of a Miscarriage.
Many other advantages might be enumerated: For instance, the addition of some thousand Carcases in our
exportation of Barreled Beef. The Propagation of
Swines Flesh
, and Improvement in the Art of making
good
Bacon
, so much wanted among us by the great destruction of
Pigs
, too frequent at our Tables,
which are no way comparable in Taste, or Magnificence to a well grown, fat Yearling Child, which Roasted
whole will make a considerable Figure at a
Lord Mayor's Feast
, or any other Publick Entertainment. But
this, and many others, I omit, being studious of Brevity.
Supposing that one thousand Families in this City, would be constant Customers for Infants Flesh, besides
others who might have it at
Merry meetings
, particularly at
Weddings
and
Christenings
, I compute
that
Dublin
would take off Annually about twenty thousand Carcases, and the rest of the Kingdom (where
probably they will be Sold somewhat Cheaper) the remaining eighty thousand.
I can think of no one objection, that will possibly be raised against this proposal, unless it should be urged,
that the number of people will be thereby much lessened in the kingdom. This I freely own, and was indeed
one principal design in offering it to the world. I desire the reader will observe, that I calculate my remedy
for this one individual Kingdom of Ireland, and for no other that ever was, is, or, I think, ever can be upon
Earth. Therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients: Of taxing our absentees at five shillings a pound:
Of using neither clothes, nor houshold furniture, except what is of our own growth and manufacture: Of
utterly rejecting the materials and instruments that promote foreign luxury: Of curing the expensiveness
of pride, vanity, idleness, and gaming in our women: Of introducing a vein of parsimony, prudence and
Page 6
temperance: Of learning to love our country, wherein we differ even from Laplanders, and the inhabitants
of Topinamboo: Of quitting our animosities and factions, nor acting any longer like the Jews, who were
murdering one another at the very moment their city was taken: Of being a little cautious not to sell our
country and consciences for nothing: Of teaching landlords to have at least one degree of mercy towards
their tenants. Lastly, of putting a spirit of honesty, industry, and skill into our shopkeepers, who, if a
resolution could now be taken to buy only our native goods, would immediately unite to cheat and exact
upon us in the price, the measure, and the goodness, nor could ever yet be brought to make one fair proposal
of just dealing, though often and earnestly invited to it.
Therefore I repeat, let no man talk to me of these and the like expedients, till he hath at least some glympse
of hope, that there will ever be some hearty and sincere attempt to put them into practice.
But, as to my self, having been wearied out for many Years with offering vain, idle, visionary thoughts, and
at length utterly despairing of Success, I fortunately fell upon this Proposal, which, as it is wholly new, so
it hath something Solid and Real, of no Expence and little Trouble, full in our own Power, and whereby we
can incur no Danger in
disoblinging England
. For this kind of Commodity will not bear Exportation, and
Flesh being of too tender a Consistance, to admit a long continuance in Salt,
although perhaps I could name
a Country, which would be glad to Eat up our whole Nation without it
.
After all I am not so violently bent upon my own Opinion, as to reject any Offer, proposed by wise Men,
which shall be found equally Innocent, Cheap, Easy and Effectual. But before something of that kind shall
be advanced in Contradiction to my Scheme, and offering a better, I desire the Author or Authors will be
pleased maturely to consider two points.
First
, as things now stand, how they will be able to find Food and
Raiment for a hundred thousand useless Mouths and Backs. And
Secondly
, there being a round Million of
Creatures in humane Figure, throughout this Kingdom, whose whole Subsi-stance put into a common Stock,
would leave them in Debt two Million of Pounds
Sterl
, adding those who are Beggars by Profession, to
the Bulk of Farmers, Cottagers and Labourers, with their Wives and Children, who are Beggars in Effect;
I desire those
Politicians
who dislike my Overture, and may perhaps be so bold to attempt an Answer,
that they will first ask the Parents of these Mortals, whether they would not at this Day think it a great
Happiness to have been sold for Food at a year Old, in the manner I prescribe, and thereby have avoided
such a perpetual Scene of Misfortunes, as they have since gone through, by the
oppression of Land-lords
,
the impossibility of paying Rent without Money or Trade, the want of common Sustenance, with neither
House nor Cloaths to cover them from the Inclemencies of the Weather, and the most inevitable Prospect of
intailing the like, or greater Miseries, upon their Breed for ever.
I Profess, in the sincerity of my Heart, that I have not the least personal Interest in endeavouring to promote
this necessary Work, having no other Motive than the
publick Good of my Country
, by
advancing our
Trade, providing for Infants, relieving the Poor, and giving some Pleasure to the Rich
. I have no Children,
by which I can propose to get a single Penny; the youngest being nine Years old, and my Wife past Child
bearing.
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