Why I Want a Wife Essay
I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am A Wife. And, not altogether
incidentally, I am a mother. Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh
from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is looking for
another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to
me that I, too, would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?
I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support
myself, and, if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send
me to school. And while I am going to school, I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a
wife to keep track of the children's doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep track of mine,
too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who
will wash the children's clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturant
attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they have an
adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes
care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need
special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose
time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife's income from time to
time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of
the children while my wife is working.
I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house
clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife
who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it
that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I
need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will
plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and
then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am
sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school. I want a wife to go along when
our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue to care for me and my children when I
need a rest and change of scene.
I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife's duties. But I want
a wife who will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point I have come
across in my course studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have
written them.
